"Whenever illness is associated with loss of soul,
the arts emerge simultaneously as remedies, soul Medicine"

Shaun Mcniff                                                                                                                                                                                                       
As we connect with our inner creative impulses that rise from deep within our core, the Images and shapes within a painting become a doorway into our souls, a dialogue in self-discovery and its colors the healing tool of our suppressed emotions.
I have always loved Art in all its forms and for me copying nature or still objects never gave me the satisfaction...it became an acquired skill that had no soul!  Everyone tries to tell us how art should be, how it should be created and admired!  We seem to see it in the eyes of the critics and not with our hearts. 

I needed to  silence the voices in my head and open my heart; the true source of creativity that is uniquely mine.  I abandoned Art all together and went to the corporate world of advertising... started creating commercial art that is created on demand. 
It was not until the first encounter with the gift of healing that I started reaching out for an artistic interpretation of what was going on within me... Emotions were so intense at first that my body could not contain them and my mind could not comprehend.  I had to find a new form of release.  A new language that can communicate with my blocked emotions, heal their wounds and document the amazing healing journey that I was about to embark...

 I have placed my Drawings in chronological order so that they may reveal the changes that I went through and maybe give you an insight to the inner landscape of my soul... The rest of the Journey can be followed through my blog.

with love and gratitude I give you:


After the first intense week spent  at the Barbara Brennan school of healing (BBSH), I felt the urge and need to paint. I needed to visually interpret my inner struggle and express my burning desire to communicate my new found feelings. I felt like I was pregnant with intense emotions...

 "The start of my healing journey"
Acrylic on paper September, 2007

Acrylic on paper 2007

"Who am I?"
Soft pastel on paper  2008

Who am I?  A question I have been asking myself over and over again and this was my inner soul's answer!  I had started not knowing the outcome...no agenda and no interference from the mind...a pure communication from my guided hands and the wisdom of its cells.

Soft pastel on paper 2008

"Inner landscape"
Mixed Media on paper 2008

"The Fear of incarnation"
"An expression of my pain and resistance to ground and let go of my fear of re-incarnation...
feeling the earth as a hostile and dangerous place."
Mixed media on paper 2008

"The healing power of the color Orange"
Soft pastel on paper May, 2008

Soft pastel on paper September, 2009

Mozart's Requiem
Soft pastel on paper 2009
This was the first painting that I have done while listening to a piece of Music given to us as homework for self awareness on a cellular level. I had chosen the Mozart-Requiem piece. I had to stop the process three times due to its intense effect on my body. I could feel the pain of a human soul as it faces its destiny and its struggle for unity while being divided into body and soul...into good and evil...into individualization and the desire to love and be loved as one. I did this painting after the meditation and while listening to parts of Mozart’s Requiem d-moll KV 626. Wiener Philharmoniker-Karl Bohm.

" my Injured knee"
"Connecting with the energetic healing waves of my injured knee"
Soft pastel on paper 2009

"the lower-self"
"an attempt to brake through my defense and into the dark negative energy of the lower-self!"
 Soft pastel on paper 2009

"The Jump"
"holding my heart as a support and guide I take one step forward into the unknown"
Soft pastel on paper march 8, 2009

"Color reflections I see in the mirror of my healing room"
Soft pastel on paper 2009
After the temporary loss of my own identity...‘Who am I’ was the question that was haunting me for the past few weeks...I was then instructed by a gifted healer to try and imagine the walls of my healing room as mirrors and draw what I see...confused by the constant self identification with the super ego self, my lower self, an angel, a lion and an eagle, this was what I saw... I can't tell you much about it except that it was purely out of my inner vision...I started the exercise by imagining the room full of mirrors reflecting the colors in the room...but then it just took off on its own! My hands were drawing lines, picking colors at random without seeing and not really knowing what I am drawing or how I wanted the end result to be...it came out effortlessly with such determination and insight.

Soft pastel with metallic colors on paper 2010 
I had started with prayer and some verses of the Qur'an (unfortunately I cannot remember which verse it was) and then went into my own world and the two thoughts/worlds then merged into one. I had hid this under my bed not wanting to see it! Sometimes it is scary to see the dark and light side of your own being all at once!

"I believe"
Mixed Media on paper 2010 
A reflection of the conversation I had with the divine creative spark in me and the stored and suppressed creative energy that I constantly denied and constantly attributed it to be “foreign”.  "I believe"  is what came out of it and an inner knowing of the divine power of creation within us all.


The following 10 paintings were the beginning of a creative healing process
 I had done as part of a Detox program
at the Bughinger clinic in Bodensee, Germany.

Untitled #1
Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010
one of the ones I did where I started seeing some geometric symbols and shapes.

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010

Soft pastel on paper 2010


 After this inner self knowing and the introduction to the Haric dimenson, I wanted to feel my heart and  its longing from that centered place.   As before, I surrendered to my energetically guided hands not knowing what I am about to Draw…I played the "human heart”, a healing music of the Goddess by Majorie Valerie, centered myself in my Haric dimension and my hands and I connected with my heart’s longing...no agenda but the contact I was looking for with my own heart and the painting that follows is the result of this new unified existance of all that I am.

"Connecting to My soul's longing"
Soft pastel on paper 2010

"Inner landscape-#2"
Soft pastel on paper 2010
In this above Painting I had felt the need to go deeper within my own inner being. No questions asked and No rules and theories to decipher! I did not want to do it with my mind but with my longing to communicate, to make contact.  I had enough with my analytical mind trying to make sense of it all...the lower self, higher self, the Soul, the body, the astral world... I had enough of all the different human Characterology and their defenses... and all the material I had to study to reach one answer:  who am I?  I placed three boxes of soft pastels and with the light very dim, I started picking up colors at random; not seeing the colors I was choosing simply guided by my longing to communicate. Some energetic release was happening on all levels and it made so much sense and meaning while I was painting...once back in my head...nothing! My linear mind is still incapable of interpreting the outcome yet it sure felt good while my hands were “communicating”.

"Rage and its healing response"
October 19, 2010
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